Self-Mastery: Recap from Part 1
When we train our children’s hearts first and foremost, the educational pieces fall into places. Book of Proverbs has significant wisdom for parents. It’s full of “my son, listen to my teaching.” We should be teaching our kids these heart-training things.
We need to make known to them the commandments. Our values. Self-Mastery is most critical, so teach that. We’re called to teach, so model.
Link between self-mastery between high achievement. There was a correlation between high emotional intelligence and high SAT scores, not high IQ.
Emotional Intelligence is being to motivate oneself. Regulate moods. Delay gratification. Keep distress from swamping the ability to think. Emphasize and to hope. There’s a complete difference between high IQ. “High IQ kids who lack motivation have to be stratified with mediocrity.” – Andrew Carnegie.
Develop deep relationship with your kids. Respect-on-Respect.
Have trust that your kids are going have a reasonable and correct relationship with their books. Don’t have a classroom mindset with the books. “The less the parents express their ration of knowledge to the children…[the better able to learn from the books themselves.” – Charlotte Mason.
Read-Test cycle extinguishes the love of learning.
A curriculum is a tool. There’s a huge number of programs. If your children can read, and read well, you’ll be fine.
[This woman can form and stay on a constant though. There’s echoing threads through, but GEEZE. Seriously! Stay on point.]
…it is not go have fun. Her approach has never been unschooling. Not to the extend where there’s no curriculum.
[We’re getting preached to. Big time.]
Self-taught kids test well, because they have experience doing critical thinking. It’s not our responsibility to get our kids through high school. It’s not. Don’t care how they do it. Care that it’s mastered. Give them as much choice and freedom as you can do their work. Don’t micromanage them. You don’t want your kids to feel like they have to jump through hoops for them to be a good student.
Let them have a 10th grade relationship with their books.
Micromanagement kills motivation.
When to start on the self-teaching road?
When the child can read well. At that point you transition from the parent-directed approach to the student-directed one.
5 Steps to self-teaching success
- Provide a planner or journal that belongs to the student. It’s their education.
Application changes based on age. Steps don’t. Take the burden off your shoulders and put it on your kids shoulder. Don’t snuff out their ambition “to do it themselves.” It’s monumental in their self confidence.
Self-learners stand out, because it’s so unusual. They know how to find out what they don’t know. Very entrepreneurial. They find out what their passion is and then you let them go. It starts with education and then it spills over to other aspects of life.
Plan out the year with them. It’s very motivation to see where their headed and that there’s an end.
- Gather your curriculum up.
Curriculum is a tool.
- Set some goals, one per subject.
“The greatest service we could do for education is to each fewer subjects” – C.S. Lewis [Get full quote.]
Mastery learning gives a foundation of success on top of success. You don’t move on if you don’t get it in the homeschool world.
She uses a quarterly system.
Only thing she “does” in homeschool. How much can you trust them? Catching them cheating in the home is an opportunity to teach grace.
Spot check with your older kids. They don’t know when it’s going to come. [Psychology 101…] Did cause one of her students to stumble, because she gave him too much rope. He got behind, and then further behind. Punishment is you loose the freedom to self-teach.
- Let go.
She didn’t have little ones to be mom to any more. That’s an awesome thing. When they go off to college they may struggle. That’s OK. They have self-mastery, so they get through it.
How to – set short term goals with young ones
(Kindergarten) Just take each day as it comes. Don’t let it stress you out. Look at your curriculum, and divide it into quarters. On goals page write get to page # where # is a quarter of the way through. Be ready for your plans to be set aside because they may not be ready for it.
Loosely woven plans.
Write down a goal for each subject. On the weekly plan, write out which pages you want them to do. At the end of the day, do you cross it off? No, let your child do it. Give them that feeling of accomplishment.
1st grade and on goal definition
Do the same thing. Rely on them to figure out what they need to do today. Let them go work on it. Each progressive grade they will get better at doing these tasks more and more on their own. By fifth grade, they can just do it. (You need to look it over to make sure they can do it.)
We they know that they’re free to fail – they’re afraid to try.
Care if it’s done really sloppily – that’s a heart issue.
Girls – Lillian 6th Grader, Age 12. Second one older.
On the start of her first day of school. She would break the lessons into quarterly sessions. She might split it so she could have time off from math or finish early. She would then break break history and other subjects down into pages.
On a weekly basis. Usually she writes out the whole week. Sometimes she does it day-by-day because she might not have enough time that day. It works both ways.
Older one tends to do the weekly planner day-by-day. By the end of the week, it feels like a lot to do “5 pages of history” for example.
Older one wanted to take French, so they added that on.
Question: what if your child blows through the week’s worth of work in a single day?
If you’re not adjusting for the appropriate level… Have at it. Why not? If it’s mastered, it’s OK. Give them the choice to either continue something, or do nothing. If you require them to immediately do the next one, they’ll do the first one a lot slower. (Last comment from older child.)
Question: how long do you wait to ask for help?
Not very long. Take the learning slowing until you’ve mastered it. Sometimes things spill over into the summer. It’s better to know it than not.
Question: How do you transition into this?
Start with the parent directed approach and transition gradually. Some curriculum lends it’s self to self-learning better than others. Look to see how parent intensive it is. To avoid this, she’s had success with workbooks.